People often characterize me as warm, kind, and empathetic. I’ve been told that I’m the type of person they feel safe confiding in, without judgment. People are often shocked to hear that my upbringing was far from idyllic. My compassionate nature developed in spite of being reared in the family businesses of liquor stores and hourly rates motels, in some of Houston’s rougher neighborhoods. 

Growing up as a biracial child, I struggled to fit in and find a sense of community and belonging. My family was definitely an enigma in the black communities of my upbringing. My dad was black, my mom Vietnamese and my half-brother had a white father. While my background afforded me a great understanding of multiculturalism, it also made me stick out in a bad way. 

It certainly didn’t help my situation that I was that proverbial nerdy kid that loved public television, crazy sci-fi like Doctor Who (I still do) and literature. I remember the immense pain of trying to defend my heritage to adults and kids alike who teased and bullied me for simply being different. When the boys in my class were discussing the Houston Rockets, I was more interested in understanding the science behind space travel and cryo-sleep. 

I also didn’t subscribe to the painfully toxic and destructive models of masculinity that surrounded me. An example was when I was at the mall as a teenager and I started a conversation with a young lady. It was fun, comfortable and I enjoyed her company. My peers, all boys, derided and harangued me for not getting her number when I was happy just talking. 

When I got to college three wonderful things occurred. First, I was surrounded by a diverse array of people insearch of a community of like-minded friends. Secondly, I had professors that saw my potential and pushed me to grow and improve. Those amazing teachers inspired me in many ways. Lastly, I discovered martial arts which helped me focus my resentments and anger in a positive, constructive way. I remember numerous times after taking martial arts, that someone would try to start physical or verbal fights, and I had the control and discipline to walk away. My training not only revealed untapped physical abilities, but it instilled important principles of character, temperament, and discipline that I carried with me into the corporate world, and later, into the academic world.